Anyone with an interest in the real reasons behind JFK's assassination, who was actually responsible for 9/11 and which studio the moon landing was filmed in are in luck:
Today's Standard runs an article which investigates whether "a plot" was behind the whole Ray Lewis scandal, which obviously relies on the rather comical assumption that elements of the church are somehow secretly seeking to destroy Boris Johnson's administration.
So, what was the real reason why the church didn't warn Boris Johnson about Lewis'past?
"The Tories at City Hall smell a plot. The Mayor's senior aide Nick Boles thinks that, at the least, Church leaders have been negligent: "The Church sat on it and suddenly decided to bring it into the public arena now. Why?" he asked."
Why, indeed. What ghastly plan have they concocted?!
"Some suspect a political agenda behind the fact they surfaced at a time apparently calculated to cause Boris Johnson maximum embarrassment."
Hmm... Perhaps the Church of England is in league with the Labour Party?
"Senior figures at City Hall asked why, when nearly 10,000 letters were delivered to the Mayor's office shortly after he was elected, this one was not marked private and confidential to denote its significance?"
Precisely. Everybody knows that whenever you send a letter to City Hall you should always write: "URGENT! READ ME NOW!!" on the envelope. Otherwise it just goes straight in the bin.
"But mayoral aides have said that to include a veiled reference in paragraph six of a long letter was, effectively, burying it in code."
Well of course - no-one reads WHOLE letters. People get bored after the first few lines. It is borderline negligent to write something of importance within the main text of a letter. It should always be scrawled at the top in capital letters. Preferably in blood for maximum effect.
(Reminder to self: Draft a letter to City Hall. Include the words "YOU'RE MAD" halfway through and see if they can crack the crafty code...)
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